There have been days when mind-shattering hangovers have effected my job (sorry mom). I have poured coffee into my refillable water bottle. I have forgotten to put my Lean Cuisine in the office freezer resulting in a soggy 300-calorie enchilada meal and empty stomach. I have shown up with only one eye mascaraed and two mix-matched stockings.
Although alcohol was the culprit yesterday, I was in no way hung over.
Let me back up.
I am addicted (equally) to caffeine and those wonderful chemicals that allow sodas to now be calorie-free. So when I reached into Mr S' garage refrigerator to grab a Pepsi, I instead mindlessly threw a Pabst Blue Ribbon Light (yeah that actually exists) into my purse. I then drove to work and opened it loudly in my cubicle at ten in the morning.
One should never have to bewilderingly decide how to dispose of a half-opened beer at work--outside of Christmas parties and your very spiteful last day of work personal celebration. Luckily no one (to my knowledge) noticed.
I quickly--breaking into a mild sweat--started to weigh my options.
Do I:
-Drink it (a little too obvious).
-Water my sad little cubicle plant with it--I hadn't watered it in a while and Pabst...let alone Pabst Light is practically water anyway right?
-Water the well-kept plants of the people in my office that I dislike, especially the ones who steal my Diet Cokes out of the refrigerator--it's really their fault I was in this situation in the first place.
-Set it carefully in the office kitchen and wait for the office gossip/questions to start circulating for my own amusement.
I punked out and just hid it to take back home. It turned out to be quite a bitch-of-a-day, in retrospect I should have disposed of it in my stomach. Hindsight is 20/20.
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